82 Years of Life

I had heard so much about him from the gang (my friends), I had never met him. I was told he is an old man and the owner of the house. I was not very excited but he was my mentors uncle, and he is 82 years old! . Well, I walked in to the house for the first time, opened the gate the new house we had availed on rent to jam up in the heart of Jayanagar 4th Block, Bangalore. The first thing I noticed was an amazingly laid out garden. It was a lineage of beautiful flowers I had ever seen. What a place to have right in front of your home, I thought. The landlord lived in the ground floor and we had rented the top floor flat. The door of the landlord was right infront of the garden. As i walked in to the compound, a small path amidst all the beautiful flowers laid out so well, it looked so natural. As if the plants had made way for people to walk in and out. There were all sort of plants, neatly potted, watered, raised to good health. The smell around that place was ecstatic. The place showed the passion this gardener (the oldman) had. It had the kind of aura, like you want into a place and for no reason you smile and feel peaceful. I had no idea that it was a day that would change my whole life. A day that can change my entire perspective, the way I thought, lived or looked at things. This is another story of my transformation. I was on my way to meet someone wonderful.

          I saw a cute, fair old man standing with a kind of smile that is so epidemic, contagious. It was like - His smiling was making me smile! He had these wide open bright eyes, a face full of expression and energy and more over he was something different. He looked as if he had won a BMW in a TV show. It was as if he was very happy and excited seeing me, even though we had never met before or knew each other.  I smiled my best, went upto him. I was hoping a shaking hand, and a boring long lecture which old people usually do. I extended my hand "Hello", he replied "Hi, I am Gopinath, I know who you are". I guess someone had already told him. He kept looking at me as if he is looking inside me. The silence kind of got awry, I added "Your garden is beautiful Sir", Gopinath replied "Thanks" and he kept looking at me as if he is reading me. I was thinking, usually people say "I did this whole garden myself" and take a bit of a credit, but this man didnt do that. It was not a big deal. Its just some garden. I thought this guy is crazy and old to keep staring at me like this. It was weird. Gopinath after a brief pause he replied "You think I am old and stupid, dont you". I was shocked, literally! I stood frozen. How the hell did he know what I was thinking? Was it a co-incidence? I wasnt sure! That kind of vodoo I had never ever seen. May be I had heard of it in the movies, but then, is this really happening to me? - I thought.

        "Errr....Ebbbbb, mmmm, No sir, I wasnt actually...... " Gopinath interrupted "I like to wake up to this garden, there isnt fresh air these days". He was switching between topics. Well, fair enough. I escaped.  Went to finish off some pending work. After a long day, I walked down, was very tired, irritated and sick, I met him again. "How was your day" and again he was smiling so bright, his smile was inflicting upon me. His handshake was very stable, unknowingly or surprisingly it made me feel better. "You worry too much, worry about parents? worrying never helps". How does he know? I thought. Then all of a sudden he asked  "Do you drink Wine?, I have the best", he asked me. Surprise again. I replied "Isnt Wine bad for you?" He replied "You still think I am old", "No, No, I dont mean that, I mean, you should take care of your health". Gopinath said "I am 82, and for the last 18 years, I havent taken a single pill or went to a doc nor did I catch cold. I walk and jog even now. Health is 80% Vital Forces of Nature, 20% are by Drugs. I practice good health with 3 things only. 1. Meditation, 2. Pranayama and 3 Dietary control which people these days dont know of. Before they turn 30, they are older than me". He went on "My last medical checkup 3 days ago revealed no sugar, no BP, no heart trouble. I am perfectly healthy and still 18 at heart, wanna go to a disco with me?". We Laughed.

        He kept saying many times similar to things what I was thinking. I was sure he could read me. I stood speechless many a times. The next 3 hours were the best of my life. I went through another transformation of Harmony, spirituality, Honesty, humbleness, hard-work, Health, Relationships, Friends, People, money etc.,., It was the best interesting talk I have probably ever had. He had a way to know what I am thinking, or what type of a person I am. His life experience is something I want to share to this world in my upcoming blogs. His wife had gone due to Cancer. His only daughter is in the US. He told me how he built the entire house from his own hands, how he built up and decorated the room for his mother, the way she wished it to be when she was alive. His mother had died of Cancer too. He added brief details on how he researched on Cancer and how he has made it curable now, written to many international universities and research institutions. He told me how busy he is these days. His took me inside and the whole house was astonishingly clean, and full of books. Books everywhere. Books on Medicine, Chemistry, Biology, Botany, Spirituality, Neuroscience, Phsyics. Books on Samuel Johnson, Sanskrit, Vedas, John Keats and many more. I learnt that I am talking to a Dr. Prof. Gopinath, a recipient of Ministry of Education, Govt. of India in Biochemistry in the erstwhile of All India Institute of Mental Health, now NIMHANS, Bangalore. He has also published many books to his credit. He is the founder-director of a popular pathological library in Bangalore. He also heads a Holistic Health care center, for integrating Yoga and Meditation with modern medical Practice. He is a Psychologies, Chemist, Pathologist and a Doctor. He reads minds, body and words. Other people of his same age, probably would be back broken, disease stricken, mentally prepared to go through hospitalization and death. I had this man who was in full rejoice, having fun, and really showing us all how to live every moment of this life.

      He believes in the force of Nature. He mentioned about PRANA and JEEVA. How positive can attract positive. How one thinks something and attracts is based on how badly he wants it. How one is born crying, lives complaining and dies disappointed. He seemed to address something I needed to know, but I didnt know that I needed it.  He asked me to practice this starting that minute "Everything I need to know is revealed to me. Everything I need comes to me and hence - All is well in my life" .And more than what words could speak, he had told me few ideals which I just know from him, he never said them to me and I cant explain. I felt touched after talking to him. I am sure many others would have felt the same too.

Then the entire gang met him. Rakesh, Kiran, Bharat, Jongky, Nandan, Guru, we all spoke to him. Laughed a lot, he shared many stories of learning, repention, how he survived his residential school when he was asked to vacate from St. Aloysius school. With no money at hand, no one to call to, how he sat at the Light Building in Mangalore near the Beach of Indian Ocean. Many things he said fascinated us all and took us a ride back to the 1930s. Got a glimpse of how the world was then. Oh it was memorable. He gave me two books he has written and said it will do a lot of good to me. Reading those books, I strongly feel so.

This man is no way 82. He seems just like any of us, rather younger and smarter than us. In the end he said "The Aura about you is that you bring people together and take them with you. I am able to communicate with you even in silence through Metaphysical reverberations that get exchanged between the living cell and the universe. Take this life a bit easy, you are way too loaded up in the head. Its not good". Most of what he said didnt enter my head, but everytime he looked at me, I heard him say what he meant without saying a word. Another firm handshake and I walked out as someone else not as the same person who had walked in the same gate sometime ago
       

         

60 seconds to 60

How long ago that you remember you were hanging out with your friends at infamous "addas" or jamming up your favorite tune, thinking about your first crush, humming that a Bon Jovi song, reliving your last favorite vacation etc.,. , Many of these memories dont seem very long ago now. But what has happened unoticeably is that time has passed, passed swiftly and unknowingly. Time is meant to pass, no denying it. I am worried my watch gave me a verdict 60 seconds to turn 60, with the time trap stop shut and we are all living under the timed Stopwatch thats ticking every moment and it stops with our breath. Trust me its faster than we know it with the race against time we are on everyday. We even time the hours we sleep, the hours we work, the hours we spend in traffic etc.,., 

        This makes time very precious and with this high costly most important measurement of this life, I want am concerned as to what I will do when I turn 60. I want to keep this blog alive till then, as to when I come back and read this and atleast I can flaunt a smile on my wrinkled face, that is, if I make it to my 60th Birthday. Wait a minute, 60th birthday? thats all ? only 60th I get! Man am I greedy. The stop watch we are undertimed with has two major elements. Fate and Destiny. Its like Incident and Problem, or Girlfriend and Marriage. Both similar but not the same. The other factors are Obligation and Responsibility. Courage and Wisdom. Strength and Breath. Health and Wealth. Laughter and happiness. Sorrow and Sadness. 

   The time Warp is running out suddenly we are in 30s. With the "how much busy I am" graph bar scaling higher and higher every minute, in no time are in mid 40s. When we face our first Slip disc, or first diabetes report, or the knee pain, balding head - Lord Raama, we realize then we are getting close to the Mark. Now I may want to be a Manager, later on a better person, better husband, write a book or may be build a farm etc., But what am I gonna do when I turn 60? 

   I gave this nasty thought a thought. Ofcourse I will turn 60. What am I gonna do then? Probably I think its the right time to plan things now. Isnt it good to do so than to just succumb to destiny and live from what I get or to make what I can from what I can source? I just dont want to be Working in my life, instead I want to be working ON my life. With that thought, I have decided that I dont want to plan what I want to do when I turn 60, instead WHAT I WANT TO BE when I am 60. That way I can then plan what I want to do, what I want to own and also what I dont want to be doing and not to own etc.,., I will ignore Naysayers, and mediocrity. 

      I long for constructive criticism. I am thankful for many who walked upto me and identified my mistake, my drawbacks and ill qualities.. All of it has constantly driven me towards being a better person and to innumerable those I am utterly thankful... I want to be doing Social work and farming exotic fruits. This is my motto to be living through days like today and yes, this is where I want to get to. To be alive, independent and hopeful is what i want to be till I die. To be remembered, admired and loved is what I want to be after I am dead :)

What is it that you want to be when you turn 60?. Please leave your feedback and comments below. Also do a +1 if you frowned or smiled or thought I am stupid :). As I said, I love constructive criticism.

The Doctor who went to the funeral

This is a real story of a doctor and a patient, and I have compared this real life incident to the rest of the world. Dr. Arjun (name changed) is a budding doctor doing his PG in Oncology, in his own words the story started "I was posted in casualty, my routine was to fix fractures, burns, bruises etc., While passing through the casualty ward, I am usually greeted by ward boys, nurse, patients and their families. On a normal day, as I came to work, I got the most loudest Good morning greet ever, and the most widest smile from who looked like an elderly lady. I had never met her, nor was she my patient. I felt good, I waved her back. And as a Doctor, its my general behavior to inspect the health visually even by distance. Thats a sort of a care I show to my patients and family. Instead of asking how are you, to an extent, I find it out myself. As I glanced at this lady, she looked pale, thin, dark circles, dressed in a  green hospital suit, she was sitting on a chair and looked like she used up all her breath to just wish me the good morning. She had ran out of breath after the greet, and appeared struggling, still kept the smile for me till our eyes lost contact."

       On a normal day for Dr. Arjun its bruises, blood, wounds, cuts, people in pain and cry. Facing life and death situations everyday. For the corporate world to which I belong, a problem without a ticket is not a problem at all. A customer calling for help is my life and death situation and not his. Customer for me sometimes is an all powerful, most precious person and nothing else unlike it is for a Doctor. We live in such different worlds.

     Dr. Arjun continued " I came back to my ward. I found out  that the patients name is Lakshmi, for no reason, call it an Oncologist's curiosity,  I read her medical report. Lakshmi,  aged 46, one lung completely obscured by cancer, and the other damaged by emphysema. Now I figured out why she was breathless. Her doctor said 'she is going to die' . I saw her blood tests and I realised why. Later that day, I introduced myself, sat next to her "thank you for your wishes today morning", she just nodded and smiled. She appeared sad although she was smiling. She looked pale, and looked 60 yrs old although she was years younger than that. I asked "what would you like me to do for you?" knowing its a difficult conversation, I asked it. I dont know why. She replied "I am probably in my last phase of life, you cant do anything to a dieing woman, can you?"

       I found out that she was sent to chemotherapy which was not useful. The last doctor who kept her on stent to reinflate the nephron and ease her breathing did not bring a permanent relaxation. This lady was surely suffering a lot. I met her every now and then and someday learnt she was discharged. I decided to meet her again. I somehow wanted to help her, I consulted many specialists and seniors I know, with no progress, I met her at her residence. I asked a rare question I usually dont "How are you", she replied "I feel awful doctor, not good at all." I probed her for more, hoping I can help. I feel weak, handicapped and tired in everyway - mentally physically. I guess I am just waiting to die". She continued "The sad part of all this is none of the doctors tell me when could be my last. When I push, some say a month, some say a week. At this stage of my life, I want to see honesty" and her sister tried to ease her breathlessness by stroking her back and handed over a tissue.

          A month ago, Lakshmi was a successful businesswoman. Her husband had left her when her daughter was a year old. She ran a Beauty parlor and had raised her daughter well. She turned out to be an intelligent woman, independant and now she terrible to be dependant on someone for the first time in her life. I added "Never mind what others say. What matters is how you feel?" . she responded "I know I am going to die, I just want someone to acknowledge it". I asked her "is that important to you? why?" Her sister answered to this, "she thinks she can get that last left over time to finish what can be finished, gives her a sort of a confidence" I get into such difficult discussions with patients. To tell someone directly on the face that he/she is going to die, and to predict that, oh its a inhuman task I am bound to do.  I added "I have gone through your reports. By my predictions, you may have a week or 10 days." She leaned back on her chair, and said "Thank you" she looked relaxed."Thank you for confirming. you have done what no doctor could do. I am relieved that its not my paranoia that I am going to die".
                   I am much relieved and pleasantly surprised to her reaction. She didnt cry, break down or get upset. She told me how relieved she was now and ready to accept that her end is near, but she was happy that the she didnt have to suffer for long. "My only regret is that I will not get to see my daughter or my grandson. I dont want her to know just yet. I will write letters which I want her to read after I am gone. I will also write many bed time stories for my grandson" said the grief stricken lady accepting life practically.

          Well, we think we can handle a tough situation, but as a doctor - what can be more challenging to see sorrow and pain everyday? and bloodshed? oh man, its so hard to even imagine.

Dr. Arjun continues - "its so unfair" says her sister. Lakshmi says "but the dying without pain and suffering sounds to be a good idea" and she smiles at that. She also said "I like the hospital staff, and the nurse who vists me for the injections. God bless her". . These days there are pills and injections to reduce the suffering unless the patient is mistreated or mismanaged. I said "I dont want to say I understand, but I want to say I know I cant resolve or refer you for any more treatment. I cant even say I will meet you again or ask you to see me again". I should not have made that sentence, I thought for a second. To that she said "you have been kind enough to answer my only question. what else will a dieing lady want". She knew she is going to die, her teenage smoking habit had caught up with her. She was in the same illusion like other smokers that smokers lead a normal life inspite of burning and choking their lungs. But, my job was to just sit and listen, and help her confront the fact. thats all.



        I left from her home. That day she did not feel sad, sorrowed or unhappy. She had decided to spend the rest of her time smiling.  The rest of the days she planned a farewell party, a picnic to a nearby place. She watched all her favorite Rajkumar and Rajesh Khanna movies, listend to songs, signed important documents, she also made peace with few gods. Her breathing progressively declined, she was later put in an ICU in our hospital. and when she could no longer bear the hunger, she agreed to be sedated. We sedated her and she took her last breath.


      I went to her funeral, there were lot of people who admired her strength, courage and determination to fight. She was fine example to many. And her Obituary read the next day that "We all will come across death. In life, death is inevitable, and the only person who can face death with grace is the person himself facing death. The last adventure we all take."

Day after day, dispels the dark
Flowing our time away
Absorbed into the world we fail to mark
How swift our years fade, how quick they decay
Ignorants we are, maddening wants drugged our souls
Dreams, love, hope and the vital breath
Respect the time what we have today
Cuz you took a birth, certain is disease and definite is death