If you are new to Ranjan comics series, please read Episode 1 a day with an idiot... and then once you get a hang of Ranjan you will enjoy the real stories some more.. :)
I hear this weird noise like a diseased stray dog trapped in a cage. After hearing to it carefully, the voice looked familiar. I came out of the door and listened to it carefully, the dog clearly said "HELP MADDY HELP, WATCHMAN HELP" OH MY GOD!! there is a dog and the dog can speak! Cant I be any more shocked?? it said in a weird tone "HEEEELLP, I AM STUCK HERE, HELLLLP" It was christmas - new year season, the entire apartment was empty as all bachelors had gone out partying and rest had gone to their hometown. Who could this be!!?? making all the noise?? the tone of that voice was really of a dog sorts... it had the same vocal chords..like a wolf howling types. It also occassionally said "AMMAAA APPPPAAAA, AIYOOOO HEEEELP" The bloody dog even thought of its ancestors! I couldn't believe my ears, a dog somewhere trapped knows to talk!! knows my name and its even calling out the watchman. how in the world had this happend? Or am I hearing stuff, hallucinating perhaps? I thought i will ignore it, I came in. But there was constant banging on a metal tin and the sound was continuous and disturbing. I thought, 1. It cant be a ghost, 2. If its a dog which can talk in a tough situation, I can make money. 3. If its a prank, I will kick the intestine out of their ass. then I came down. AND, I WAS SHOCKED!! HAPPY!! and SCARED!
Now, a bit of flash back - On a hot summer afternoon, Ranjan reached home. He was very grumpy, as usual, his very frequent mood swings that day had swung to the extreme end and he was terribly disappointed with the way his day had gone. The frown on his face was the only thing I could see and I felt as though he recently sniffed over a decomposed piece of excreta or something very disgusting . I was going out and I accidentally bumped into him at the basement and while trying to evade and duck from his bouncing discussion, Ranjan made a statement "Pune is a waste city" I didnt want to be his favorite victim, but seemed like I had no choice. "Oh what happend Ranjan?" I went till Kharadi and came, I didnt find Pulikaachal, Paruppu Thogayal, or even the Lemon oorugai!! " now thats a catastrophe, the world would probably end! that was how he sounded. How in the world it may happen that Ranjan went and he didnt find the most simplest of the thing in this world? Well, in Pune, you cant expect a Chennai recipe common. I felt pity and said "oh its okay, we can manage without that" I only made it worse saying that, for that Ranjan said "I will only make a nice one for you, it will be very tasty" . Well, a few days back, he had made something he called it Idli, and it was brown, and somewhat looked like a elongated wide banana come watermelon. Me and my roomie Vijay had managed to get rid of it somehow. I had managed to throw it out of the balcony, while Vijay had flushed it down the toilet. I mean, it was that bad. No offense to food, but, it was not good enough to qualify to be called as food. He had left the Idli batter for 3 days, telling it would get soft the more it ferments. Later he lost track of time and had scammed us into consuming that decomposed poison which we smartly got rid of, but, now he wants to make pickle!!Wonder now, how that is going to be!
"I had borrowed Vijay's bike. What man, the bike does not put 5th gear at all?", I replied, Ranjan "its a Bajaj Platina 100cc, it has only 4 gears" Ranjan didnt want to look stupid, he replied "NO NO NO NO NO, it should be 5 gears, in Tamil nadu n all there are no new Bajaj bikes which have 4 gears, see see thats why Pune is bad" " I rode my friends same bike at 140 kmph when I was late to office one day, the bike should give 25 bhp easily in 100cc " You guys know by know after reading all episodes, this guy is awesome. now I wanted to say that Vijay's bike was bought in AP, it has no relevance to Pune and no where in the world that this bike can have 5 years. I just rolled my eyes, agreed to what he said and wanted to go meet the watchman and pay the maintenance fees. Ranjan continued "So this bike suddenly when going on 80 kmph stopped! I was about to hit the bus in the front" I couldnt imagine how in the world he stopped and didnt hit the bus!! I was sorry for the bike, the plight it had to go through with this monstrous heinous hidious self made mechanical engineer riding it "engine became hot, and it was full turned off. not at all starting" I hate it when he tries to make it curious while its not. "Then what happend?" I added, I fake as usual. Man the story was kickingly insanely curious! "then I opened the engine, saw oil was not flowing. I had to tight the air filter, clean it once and it worked!! And then, one old man gave me his screw driver, I helped him cross the road also"
The lift came down by then and started screeching to close the door as he opened it. He didnt get in, he stood and said "Once I made pickle for a whole wedding in coimbatore for my friend for more than 800 people, everyone liked it" Whoa! Isnt he terrific! I have a chef, a mechanic, socially aware, helpful guy, a man who knows all does all. I said "bye Ranjan" I went to watchman, paid the maintenance. Then I went out to pay bills.
When I returned after 2 hours, saw Ranjan was not at home. My roomate was at work and I was alone. I was very happy seeing that. After about 10 minutes, I heard a crackling noise, as if an old dog trapped inside a cage and has a sort of a disease. We had a lot of stray dogs around the apartment. Then when I listened to it carefully, the voice sounded very familiar. I came down after making my calculations mentioned above in the first paragraph, and I was shocked to see Ranjan sitting down trapped in the lift, in a semi-faint state and banging the wall in angst to open. The door was a open see through, but has a lock outside and only an external person can reach it. Except the ground floor, every floor door was lockd, It was used in our apartment to avoid misuse. There was a big banner kept near lift that day "DO NOT ENTER. LIFT UNDER MAINTENANCE" How come Ranjan didnt read that. I wanted to open the door, but what if Ranjan jumped and attacked me? It sounded funny imagining him like a zombie sucking my blood. I burst into laughter and Ranjan didnt seem to like it "What happend" Ranjan replied "BLOODY BASTARDS, TOOK OFF THE POWER. I GOT LOCKED FOR 2 HRS" I couldnt stop laughing, i mean the moment was hilllarious. I enjoyed it. I got him opened and went back home. Ranjan Slept, didnt even think of making any pickle or abuse any other city, I guess he was tired after repairing the bike, staying trapped in a metal container.... It would've been nice if he got trapped everyday.
Later learnt that the maintenance guy was an old man, and the poor guy had pasted the warning board not to enter which our Ranjan didnt see. It was fun knowing that the old man has problem hearing it and our watchman too was relishing on a beer and was partying at home. Merry XMAS Ranjan.... :) You gave me another moment to smile and laugh at. Hope you all enjoyed it.. Please leave your comments
I hear this weird noise like a diseased stray dog trapped in a cage. After hearing to it carefully, the voice looked familiar. I came out of the door and listened to it carefully, the dog clearly said "HELP MADDY HELP, WATCHMAN HELP" OH MY GOD!! there is a dog and the dog can speak! Cant I be any more shocked?? it said in a weird tone "HEEEELLP, I AM STUCK HERE, HELLLLP" It was christmas - new year season, the entire apartment was empty as all bachelors had gone out partying and rest had gone to their hometown. Who could this be!!?? making all the noise?? the tone of that voice was really of a dog sorts... it had the same vocal chords..like a wolf howling types. It also occassionally said "AMMAAA APPPPAAAA, AIYOOOO HEEEELP" The bloody dog even thought of its ancestors! I couldn't believe my ears, a dog somewhere trapped knows to talk!! knows my name and its even calling out the watchman. how in the world had this happend? Or am I hearing stuff, hallucinating perhaps? I thought i will ignore it, I came in. But there was constant banging on a metal tin and the sound was continuous and disturbing. I thought, 1. It cant be a ghost, 2. If its a dog which can talk in a tough situation, I can make money. 3. If its a prank, I will kick the intestine out of their ass. then I came down. AND, I WAS SHOCKED!! HAPPY!! and SCARED!
Now, a bit of flash back - On a hot summer afternoon, Ranjan reached home. He was very grumpy, as usual, his very frequent mood swings that day had swung to the extreme end and he was terribly disappointed with the way his day had gone. The frown on his face was the only thing I could see and I felt as though he recently sniffed over a decomposed piece of excreta or something very disgusting . I was going out and I accidentally bumped into him at the basement and while trying to evade and duck from his bouncing discussion, Ranjan made a statement "Pune is a waste city" I didnt want to be his favorite victim, but seemed like I had no choice. "Oh what happend Ranjan?" I went till Kharadi and came, I didnt find Pulikaachal, Paruppu Thogayal, or even the Lemon oorugai!! " now thats a catastrophe, the world would probably end! that was how he sounded. How in the world it may happen that Ranjan went and he didnt find the most simplest of the thing in this world? Well, in Pune, you cant expect a Chennai recipe common. I felt pity and said "oh its okay, we can manage without that" I only made it worse saying that, for that Ranjan said "I will only make a nice one for you, it will be very tasty" . Well, a few days back, he had made something he called it Idli, and it was brown, and somewhat looked like a elongated wide banana come watermelon. Me and my roomie Vijay had managed to get rid of it somehow. I had managed to throw it out of the balcony, while Vijay had flushed it down the toilet. I mean, it was that bad. No offense to food, but, it was not good enough to qualify to be called as food. He had left the Idli batter for 3 days, telling it would get soft the more it ferments. Later he lost track of time and had scammed us into consuming that decomposed poison which we smartly got rid of, but, now he wants to make pickle!!Wonder now, how that is going to be!
"I had borrowed Vijay's bike. What man, the bike does not put 5th gear at all?", I replied, Ranjan "its a Bajaj Platina 100cc, it has only 4 gears" Ranjan didnt want to look stupid, he replied "NO NO NO NO NO, it should be 5 gears, in Tamil nadu n all there are no new Bajaj bikes which have 4 gears, see see thats why Pune is bad" " I rode my friends same bike at 140 kmph when I was late to office one day, the bike should give 25 bhp easily in 100cc " You guys know by know after reading all episodes, this guy is awesome. now I wanted to say that Vijay's bike was bought in AP, it has no relevance to Pune and no where in the world that this bike can have 5 years. I just rolled my eyes, agreed to what he said and wanted to go meet the watchman and pay the maintenance fees. Ranjan continued "So this bike suddenly when going on 80 kmph stopped! I was about to hit the bus in the front" I couldnt imagine how in the world he stopped and didnt hit the bus!! I was sorry for the bike, the plight it had to go through with this monstrous heinous hidious self made mechanical engineer riding it "engine became hot, and it was full turned off. not at all starting" I hate it when he tries to make it curious while its not. "Then what happend?" I added, I fake as usual. Man the story was kickingly insanely curious! "then I opened the engine, saw oil was not flowing. I had to tight the air filter, clean it once and it worked!! And then, one old man gave me his screw driver, I helped him cross the road also"
The lift came down by then and started screeching to close the door as he opened it. He didnt get in, he stood and said "Once I made pickle for a whole wedding in coimbatore for my friend for more than 800 people, everyone liked it" Whoa! Isnt he terrific! I have a chef, a mechanic, socially aware, helpful guy, a man who knows all does all. I said "bye Ranjan" I went to watchman, paid the maintenance. Then I went out to pay bills.
When I returned after 2 hours, saw Ranjan was not at home. My roomate was at work and I was alone. I was very happy seeing that. After about 10 minutes, I heard a crackling noise, as if an old dog trapped inside a cage and has a sort of a disease. We had a lot of stray dogs around the apartment. Then when I listened to it carefully, the voice sounded very familiar. I came down after making my calculations mentioned above in the first paragraph, and I was shocked to see Ranjan sitting down trapped in the lift, in a semi-faint state and banging the wall in angst to open. The door was a open see through, but has a lock outside and only an external person can reach it. Except the ground floor, every floor door was lockd, It was used in our apartment to avoid misuse. There was a big banner kept near lift that day "DO NOT ENTER. LIFT UNDER MAINTENANCE" How come Ranjan didnt read that. I wanted to open the door, but what if Ranjan jumped and attacked me? It sounded funny imagining him like a zombie sucking my blood. I burst into laughter and Ranjan didnt seem to like it "What happend" Ranjan replied "BLOODY BASTARDS, TOOK OFF THE POWER. I GOT LOCKED FOR 2 HRS" I couldnt stop laughing, i mean the moment was hilllarious. I enjoyed it. I got him opened and went back home. Ranjan Slept, didnt even think of making any pickle or abuse any other city, I guess he was tired after repairing the bike, staying trapped in a metal container.... It would've been nice if he got trapped everyday.
Later learnt that the maintenance guy was an old man, and the poor guy had pasted the warning board not to enter which our Ranjan didnt see. It was fun knowing that the old man has problem hearing it and our watchman too was relishing on a beer and was partying at home. Merry XMAS Ranjan.... :) You gave me another moment to smile and laugh at. Hope you all enjoyed it.. Please leave your comments
loved it honey..added joy to my serious day at work :) :( :)
ReplyDeleteah look who is back...mama waiting for more of the ranjan series...kalyan
ReplyDeleteheheh..thanks hon, thanks Kalyan... :)
ReplyDelete