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Once there lived a Merry Man

Once there was a merry man
Who did everything he could he can
He was his only happy big Fan

He went to reach the sky above
He took the stars by the hand
He played the life like a music band

With the courses of ups and downs
With the stream of falls and frowns
With the might of depth and drowns

Once he lived a merry man
He did everything he could he can
All his life all his time, all through the span

Then came the time to take the last breath
He was only afraid of death
He still had his smile and faith

He still lived a merry man
he did all that he wanted to and can
The death feared his will and wit
Gave him a "heaven" a place where he could fit

Be a happy merry man
Do all that you want to and can
Never miser, never shy, be your own fan

Live the life you want to live
Dream a long, hope a long, dont you just survive
Keep it easy take it easy enjoy the dive

Once there lived a merry man
Once there lived a merry man.....

Kurt Cobain's Suicide Letter

To Boddah:
Speaking from the tongue of an experienced simpleton who obviously would rather be an emasculated, infantile complain-ee. This note should be pretty easy to understand.
All the warnings from the punk rock 101 courses over the years, since my first introduction to the, shall we say, ethics involved with independence and the embracement of your community had proven to be very true. I haven't felt the excitement of listening to as well as creating music along with reading and writing for too many years now. I feel guilty beyond words about these things.
For example, when we're backstage and the lights go out and the manic roar of the crowds begin, it doesn't affect me the way in which it did for Freddie Mercury, who seemed to love, relish in the love and adoration from the crowd which is something I totally admire and envy. The fact is, I can't fool you, any one of you. It simply isn't fair to you or me. The worst crime I can think of would be to rip people off by faking it and pretending as if I'm having 100% fun.
Sometimes I feel as if I should have a punch-in time clock before I walk out on stage. I've tried everything within my power to appreciate it (and I do, God, believe me I do, but it's not enough). I appreciate the fact that I and we have affected and entertained a lot of people. It must be one of those narcissists who only appreciate things when they're gone. I'm too sensitive. I need to be slightly numb in order to regain the enthusiasms I once had as a child.
On our last 3 tours, I've had a much better appreciation for all the people I've known personally, and as fans of our music, but I still can't get over the frustration, the guilt and empathy I have for everyone. There's good in all of us and I think I simply love people too much, so much that it makes me feel too fucking sad. The sad little, sensitive, unappreciative, Pisces, Jesus man. Why don't you just enjoy it? I don't know!
I have a goddess of a wife who sweats ambition and empathy and a daughter who reminds me too much of what I used to be, full of love and joy, kissing every person she meets because everyone is good and will do her no harm. And that terrifies me to the point to where I can barely function. I can't stand the thought of Frances becoming the miserable, self-destructive, death rocker that I've become.
I have it good, very good, and I'm grateful, but since the age of seven, I've become hateful towards all humans in general. Only because it seems so easy for people to get along that have empathy. Only because I love and feel sorry for people too much, I guess.
Thank you all from the pit of my burning, nauseous stomach for your letters and concern during the past years. I'm too much of an erratic, moody baby! I don't have the passion anymore, and so remember, it's better to burn out than to fade away.
Peace, love, empathy,
Kurt Cobain
Frances and Courtney, I'll be at your altar.
Please keep going Courtney, for Frances.
For her life, which will be so much happier without me.
I love you, I love you!

Happy Dasara Festival

Day starts at 5 AM, the eve of Dasara Ayudha Pooja Festival,  I see my cute brother still asleep with his tiny palms half open, I was 11 then, Slowly an hour passes, we are all ready, slowly the Sun starts to rise as the soft rays peep in through the window, as we watch the round golden Sun shine up, we are all prepared for the pooja and I will always remember it. Dasara Holidays, a much awaited 15 day vacation from School, right after the mid term exam, everybody celebrating, and it was a lot of fun.
Later in the day, me and Pachu (my brother) loved playing in our little garden, watching the rain through the window sometimes when it rained and my best buddies used to jam up on our little terrace for all kinds of Games like Chess, Snake and Ladder, Business and the mandatory cricket in the evening at the Milk Colony and the Graveyard ground, those were the best days of my childhood.

My granny used to prepare the most delightful dishes along with my Mom's Cuisine, Dad's chanting of the Holy Mantras as the puja progressed, I never knew, I was blessed to be amidst such a blissful family.  There were no cellphones then, no Cable TV,  no Facebook of course, no hyped movies etc.,, and still life was just superb. The mood would be so cheered up, everyone happy, gearing up for the day, looking forward for the coming days, meeting relatives and friends, wishing each other for prosperity and good luck etc.,, Those were the real days, real festivals, true practice of our culture.

The difference now is, we have too many things to do, too much of crap to take, too much on our plates, the real valor and color in these celebrations has gone missing. We are still worried about a Project due, a Mail not sent, a work incomplete, a debt not paid, a gossip not cleared, a revenge not taken, a movie not watched, a heart thats broken (for a few), etc.,., Now wishing on Dasara means one SMS or a wall post. A lit Diya, exchange of sweets sometimes, and quickly get back to the same demeaning busy schedule with a fake smile on your face to show the world you're okay (not that if you are not anybody would bother), come back to the focus mode and continue the struggle.  

As I said, I will always remember and miss that day, because it happened every year till I was 16, thats when I stepped out of the house for College Studies and never have been able to live that day since then. Every Dasara, I miss my Parents, miss being with them. Just for what I thought I could do, I stepped out and since then every attempt every year this season reminds me of my family and I wish I get to be with them just like the old days. I miss my brother everyday, less he knows this is true and I cant even tell him how much I think of him in a given day. I want to show my Dad how much I love him, but he is miles away from me.
Even though cell phones exist, social networking is so easy, communication has advanced so many folds, though you are in reach of anybody within the click of a button, yet, nothing beats the traditional way of being together as one Family.

I will give up any of all that I have to spend one jolly day with my Family and getting to stay with them is all I want. Happy Dasara to all of you and I wish you all get to be with your loved ones and celebrate the days, wish you all prosperity and happiness....

- Maddy

Everybody hurts and its Painful

In the days of sun and the moon, the routine goes by, time passes, things happen and most of it - is painful. And this pain is caused by people around you. You listen to Ipods, smoke a cigarette, get drunk, watch a movie, take up another job, watch IPL, post messages on Facebook, etc.,., which is all a sort of an escapism to get away from the hurt, the real pain in todays world. We are all living amidst frustration and intolerable pain, with struggle for everything gets tougher by the day none is spared but left with a chance to hurt another person only to feel better within. 


  Its not always personal painful stuff, its not about you and me or one person to another, its much beyond that. Today I came across a house keeper in my office, aged around 45 or 50, and he was waiting for other young happy rich employees to pass the door, showing them the level of respect so that he could get in after them. He could've chosen to get in ignoring the passing employees, but, he kept his head low, he had his shoulders down, and looked very sad with the life he was living. I was one among the passing employees, with whom I walked into the lift. I didnt know most of them, but its been 3 plus years in this organization so most know me by face. And one of the employee continued to discuss about the problems with his Boss and work, he sounded sad, the other was feeling depressed about not being able to be with his wife and his new born son for the Diwali for not getting leave, one of the guys was upset that he doesnt have a car to go home as it was about to rain and it would be just another day that he would get drenched, he was angry on the company for not giving him a good hike and also not delighted that he didnt get a dowry to purchase the car etc.,., 


  So I went on to my car and started to drive thinking about all this, reached a Signal. There a very young girl, around 7 or 8 years, in torn clothes came to clean my car and within that 60 second signal she wanted to also lift her hand to the window of my car and ask for money. All her childhood gone, with complete innocence in her eyes, all it showed there was pain. I called my mom or my wife,  I do that often when I am feeling low, and they both always helps me out of it. She was in pain too, she has a knee problem and a slip disk still she has to cook and sometimes not cook for my brother studying in the college. Same goes with my Dad, he stays away from his family, I stay away from them, not able to take care of anybody I face guilt everyday. Still I have to give a smile with billions of problems hanging right behind it. I am sure its the same with everyone else, more or less.


 Though many do smile, have fun, its just to escape from the living pain and fear that when its there i will live that moment and push the pain to another day or face it when it comes. This is our current life. I even feel bad for people in 40s who drive slow, I also see a frustration in those young hot blood, lonely and determined who drive rash and fast on the roads. I came across a blog in which it said "The day we all realise this, that the rich is in as much pain as the poor, that the employer is having as tough a time as the employee, that the cop who asks you for a bribe lives as sad a life as you, the pickpocket you catch has risked being lynched because he has no other alternative means of livelihood, that the movie star you idolise is as lonely as you are, that the one who brutalises you is perhaps as brutalised by life as you are, the less we will seek to blame others for our fate. You will feel less anger against that guy in the tax office who asks you for a bribe when you realise he is still paying back, after ten years on his job, his father's debt for getting him the job. We are lucky. The Americans are consuming today what their next 13 generations will have to pay for. The Greeks will be lucky if their next generation can survive their current crisis. "


Yet man bravely strides ahead. As we flirt with more pain, more danger, we discover more and more ways to seek gratification, more technology to flaunt, more entertainment to excite us and, most important, more dreams to chase. So we pursue new ways to earn more money, grow more food, hunt down more pleasures, seek to extend our life spans.


his is the miracle of our times. Even as most things go wrong, man's ingenuity to seek hope and happiness keeps improving. But where we fail most is in sustaining relationships. The best companies collapse, as do the best marriages, the best rock groups, the most intense relationships because our weltschmerz makes us lonely islands of pain. That's why last week, when R.E.M broke up after 31 years, I remembered their most popular song, which became the anthem of our times. Everybody hurts. Yes, everybody hurts. And that is why we hurt each other so much.

My Refuge

When life turns cold
I close my eyes, think of you
seal myself within your warmth
nestle in your love, cuddle in that bliss
shade in that smile,
my perfect refuge...

and when I open my eyes,
I am surprised how time flies
but I know life is no longer cold
what was tough is easy now, things in my hold
I love you not enough, but I love you forever...


- Maddy
Dedicated to my Wife..

Toilet time

We all spend a significant proportion of our short lives on the toilet, and, since few people have a toilet equipped with either a long mirror, or sometimes TV, reading is a popular means of filling this time. However, far too little work has been done on the factors influencing the choice of toilet reading matter. This humble treatise is an attempt to help rectify this situation.


 Sometime in my working career, I had a Boss. He used to come up with some innovative ideas, he did win some awards and surprisingly as we micro-observed his movements very closely, we concluded that all his innovation and came, everytime he came out of Toilet. Toilet was his thinking hub. He suggested new plans, new changes, he brought in some phenomenal processes into the team and, we had candid proof that all of it originated in the Washroom. Since then it has been a aspect, that, everytime we visit the toilet its so barely noticed how we get into some really interesting thinking process.


 Also, toilet can sometimes be fun, carry a magazine or a newspaper with you, I tried this once very long back, it was interesting. I had a friend who used to do it so regularly and his time in toilet was information collecting and long lasting. He would spend about an hour in the washroom. I have also heard about people listening to music while they output all the junk. 


There has been research saying how much calories we burn, especially after  last nights heavy/tight meal. I know this post is funny, but, just give it a thought - keeping aside all the GROSS aspect of the washroom. Its your own personal time! Its second to finding peace (unless your flood gates are open). A toilet is probably not the place to attempt to fire your enthusiasm for something which you need to read but don't really want to. It's preferable to have something that interests you, but doesn't hold your interest for too long at a time.


If, like me, you are terrified by the prospect of mortality and want to make the most of your time on this earth, you might want to read something useful. At a rough estimate, you will spend maybe six months on the toilet over the course of your life (based on ten minutes per day for seventy years) and it might be nice to feel you've used this time wisely.


Some people may consider that it's inappropriate to read a work for which they have great reverence while engaging in defecation. They say "hey you cant carry Book into your washroom, its disrespecting God", This is a matter for personal taste, and a question of whether you consider poo to be actually morally evil, or merely smelly.


My suggestion for some good books to read when you go out there to poop, carry a National Geographic Magazine, or a Dan Brown's work, a newspaper (like midday or tehelka would do where you read about acci Outlook and India today can also really spice up your time in the room, it doesnt matter if you are using an indian or a western toilet, find a place to keep the book safe and clean. One Article can last many toilet sittings.. 


It hardly needs to be stated that this article has merely scratched the surface of the topic it attempts to explore. What, the reader may well ask, about taking with you a book which you're reading already? What further considerations come into play with other people's toilets and public toilets? There are rich seams waiting to be mined, and I hope that I have inspired a few bold souls to venture beyond this modest beginning.


So enjoy... Happy S*****ting :)


Spend your valuable hours in valuable thinking.. 

Thats how its meant to be

My best friend, brother, god's gift - Henry, has a medicine for all the bad things that happen to us. I can call it a medicine because it heals the state of which you approach him with an issue and when he says "Thats how it had to be, just leave it." and he doesn't talk anything after that - things get better within me.

   When I used crib about work or share a sob story all he says is "It was supposed to happen this way, dont worry about it", and he goes quiet after this for a long time or shifts the topic or even makes me laugh. That soothes a lot. I thought it was just a way of avoiding the problem, but, the truth is he saved me from two things getting into a state of trouble and sadness, and, spreading negativity.

  If you are not happy at work, things not going good with your friends, money problem, career issues, dont talk about it. Just let it be the way it is. dont think about it. All you will do then is invite negativity and spread negativity around. Remember, you are what you think. You get what you think more. So think something Positive always, think of the best things you want to do in life. Life is more than what you want, life is what you want to be, it is what you make it.

This way of Henry's handling negativity really works. The next time, things go wrong, do not send out negativity into the universe and into yourself, breathe in deep, close your eyes, imagine your parents/wife/GF/BF etc., buy a new dress, share a coffee with a friend, watch a movie etc.,., but never let out things within and with others, everything in life is a phase and it will pass, eventually. By thinking more about it or cribbing and gossiping it with others, wont help, let it pass.. I have seen people cribbing 24/7, if possible, also, stay away from them. They are a signboard saying "Keep Away".
Good Luck.

Hiking into the days of Life

Some time ago, between me and my Dad's "Ego - Wars" my life was falling apart. While walking to school, with shoulders so heavy and more heavy was the chest - I was grim that no matter what I do, I wasn't good enough for anybody, I was in a Village, and I went to a Govt School. Nothing was good enough for me then. There was a complex of inferiority flowing inside my conscious soul all over and spreading through my days very badly like a viral plague.

When I walked into staying in the Big city -Bangalore, from being a Village boy, outshirt plain top and a loose formal pant with a hawai chappal I entered the first steps of my College Life. Met a friend who introduced me to the world of Jobs and Part time Jobs. I walked into a shop with a board that said "Part time Jobs". The job was to do a market research and involved in doing some surveys on potential business prospects. Thats when I realized why I had to come to Bangalore and why I had to choose to work. After that, I never asked my Dad money, infact I started giving it back.

         That walk led to another walk, and one day I decided to walk out of my house to a place I had never ever been. Thats when I ended up sitting in front of some HR from 'Transworks' in 'Next' consultancy. I was 18 yrs old then, with only 5 bucks in my pocket and a lot of weight inside my heart, I started my first job in 2004 and my offer letter had a joining date of June 7th with Rs.7,450 per month Salary. Balancing my college and dreams, teenage fun life and work I did that for about 8 months before I joined Dell. I just realized that the part time job I took, gave me the courage to walk to an interview, because I wanted a subtle regular flow of money from a full time job, than off and on payments I was paid in a part time job


         There was a "Walk in" interview for which I was sent by some other consultancy and I walked into it as instructed. Joined Dell, met some amazing people, learnt a lot and still very strong friends with my last team led by the best boss ever. We still keep meeting though most of us are no longer working with Dell, still we are a team.
At College, with all ups and downs, exams and complaints, somehow managed to fiddle with the Graduation. few years later we started 3iG Solutions with my collegemates. Now I know why I joined Transworks and why I met with some great people in my college.

         One Day my dad went to a wedding wearing a "Dell" Tshirt which I had won in some Rewards and recognition event. While he was sitting, a man aged around late 40s walked upto him and asked him if he works in Dell. When my Dad clarified the detail, this man went to pitchin for a job for his son who has completed his BE 2 yrs back and yet he is finding it hard to find a job. Well, that guy is still working for Dell, i refered him for a position and he is currently doing really well. I have some terrific memories of Dell. I never wanted to let go of this place and people. In my heart,  I probably never will. This, they know and I know. I realised why I had to join Dell. It was a moment of pride for my Dad. Since then, he never felt down about having a "not good enough" Son. since then, many such moments of Pride has passed by. I was making myself into myself...I was making a person out of myself.

          The walk continued to the next mountain when I got a call for a company that makes phones and stuff called Avaya in Hyderabad. I joined Avaya without thinking twice. I left all my favourite people, favorite places, food, family etc.,.,, I literally left the world I was living in and came to meet some more fabulous folks and live some more memorable moments. I was 23 yrs old, when I stayed with 2 other buggers who are very close to my life are Henry and Mangesh, I learnt more about Life. Some day ended up in Pune, and loved every bit of my stay with Vijay and Kalyan. While I met many and faced situations, I also met the Love of my life in Avaya, whom I had pictured her to be exactly she is now since the first though of how my wife would be, probably since my teenage days I had that kind of a thought. She is perfectly the one whom I always wanted. I know now why I had to come to Hyderabad. On 14th Nov 2010 got married to her, Veena, and she is adorable, makes my every day so beautiful. I never knew all this would happen. I got through as a Sr. Software Engineer, and I realized why she had to make an entry in my life and become a motivation and a reason for me to keep walking. Today I got an email from my Company HR Team congratulating me for completing 3 grand years in Avaya and it feels good. Feels good to see the distance covered. I came to Hyderabad with only 2 bags. Now I have a family of my own, I have a house, a car, and my beloved Wife! I have three families integrated into one! Yet, Future is so much unseen, inspite of whih the past has made me look forward for the coming days with a lot of excitement and energy.

 I sometimes feel like stopping and going back to what I was, in a Village, Govt School, and for today, where I have everything, and still hiking into the days of my life. Thats what we all do, dont we? Climb the mountains and get their good tidings.  Nature's peace will flow into you as sunshine flows into trees.  The winds will blow their own freshness into you, and the storms their energy, while cares will drop off like autumn leaves. Above all, do not lose your desire to walk.  I have walked myself into my best thoughts, and I know of no thought so burdensome that one cannot walk away from it..

At the end of all the thoughts, when I think of my Dad, I feel like he has been a great person. A Role model to me for whom I kept bringing the best of me and I still do. He foresaw life and he understood me. Sometimes doing the right thing may force us to take the hardest way, but, its worth taking it. He moulded my once brittle character to a insinuating and capable one.  I will always be thankful to him.

Just Keep walking, hiking your days into your life. Learn, Enjoy, forget, Live, Remember, Thank, Apologize, Share a smile, spend a rupee to the needy, keep seeking your dreams, just keep walking..things you will come by will be those what you need....
Walking takes longer... than any other known form of locomotion except crawling.  Thus it stretches time and prolongs life.  Life is already too short to waste on speed - ~Edward Abbey, "Walking"


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I want to thank god, thank my parents, my grandmom and grandpa for all their blessings and wisdom. - Maddy

Episode 3 - Part II - Unexpected Catastrophe

Contd.. from Espisode 3, Part II

 Pune: Jan 7^th  – “Hey I will also come with you to Hyderabad, we will drive my car” The last time he did that, I drove 90% of the distance while the Jackass slept the whole time!! I just wanted to go to Hyd because Jan 10^th was Veena’s birthday and I wanted to celebrate it with her. She is in Hyderabad, and we were planning to tell about our relationship at home. Ranjan pestered to go with me to Hyderabad with me. He also asked me for Rs.10,000 (he already had my 25,000 which he had to return) and said he wants to shift his house. So I agreed to give him thinking he must be a honest guy though he is an idiot afterall he will still return my money.

Jan 8^th, 6 PM. Fine, we started driving to Hyderabad that night, and he drove about 30 KM like a Psycho drunk clown as if he could cover 600 KM in 6 minutes and finally said “ I am feeling very sleepy, usually I drive really fast, but when I am sleepy, I drive slow, I don’t want to drive slow, can you do the driving for about 20 minutes I will take a NAP and after that I will drive” 20 minutes? Yeah right Mr. Kumbhkaran, lousy lazy asshole!! I was actually waiting for it. I could hardly tolerate his driving. So it’s better to own the responsibility of staying alive. I took the steering, and started to drive. “He continued, one day I was feeling so sleepy I started to drive to Salem from Mysore, I did not realize I had crossed Salem 3 hours ago and had come 400 Km ahead” I exclaimed as if he had just broken the Guinness world record. May be he went on a Bucati Veron, imagine 400 Km in 3 hours on Indian Roads!! WOW. I knew the SOB is faking it, he loves making up shit. I asked him “which Car Ranjan?” he became excited like a baby, he must be thinking – wow this idiot believes my shit, I am so good at bullshitting, man I am so proud of myself that I bullshit so well and he replied “ It was a Maruti 800, 1996 model it was very fast, easily 150 to 160 Kmph!!” Wah, if the makers of Maruti hear this they’ll be very proud. And then he bugged me about how good a Maruti 800 is and finally he slept snoring loud and some boring Tamil songs were playing in the background.

Jan 9^th. Reached Hyd around 8 AM. I went home, quickly got ready. Veena had already made many calls to my cell and hundreds of messages already. She cared for me a lot, especially when I am with this Chimp. We met around 12:30, she was looking so stunning as usual. We shopped in the newly inaugurated Inorbit Mall, bought gifts and Ranjan had gone away for a change, (what a relief) as he was busy shifting his furniture to pune, he was relocating, while me and veena had a couples day out, a sort of a much awaited Date.  He called me around 1 PM and asked me if I could lend him Rs.10,000. I had already given him 25,000 and I thought poor guy, he might be a wimp but he has 3 kids, out of which is a new born twin. I agreed to help him and said okay, and asked him to come and collect it. Later I booked a movie ticket online in Talkie Town  for me and Veena and had plans to wish her on her birthday at 00:00 hrs. I took her to Aditi Restaurant right opposite to Talkie Town. We had an amazing day, very beautiful and pleasant time indeed before Ranjan’s phone Rang- “Where are you?” I said “I am in a restaurant” he asked “which restaurant, where?” oh man!! Hopefully he will not ask how it looks and what I am eating etc.,., .,  I replied “Me and Veena are there together, after this we are going to a movie and we are in Aditi Restaurant, can I call you later?” I thought I shoed him away, Get the fucking hell off cant you see I am with my Girlfriend and we’re a couple you butt-sucking monster? But he replied to my surprise “okay, I will come, I too wanted to watch a movie and I will take the money”

Jan 9^th 8:45 PM: Ranjan was at our desk in the Restaurant – His Saliva was all over his mouth seeing at what we were eating. Nazar laga raha tha BC. I couldn’t resist offering him something, but I knew he would use that as an opportunity to show off. When I offered him to eat with us he proudly said he doesn’t eat outside food, if he does then he will have to be admitted in some famous hospital. HE said “What will I do alone so I came off” wonder what came off. What a F**** SOB, he didn’t let me have my date. Kabab mein haddi!!! Veena was feeling uncomfortable as he started to show off how to eat, how hygienic he is , how great he used to cook one day he was cooking some dish (I forgot) and someguy came sniffing his cuisine and asked him if he could give him the reciepe or teach his cook as he owns a restaurant. Ranjan strictly denied saying NO it’s a secret. And when he left, he realized the guy who asked was none other than the Hotel Ashoka owner!! BULLSHIT Hotel Ashoka in bangalore is a 7 Star Resturant. Ranjan is the world’s worst Asshole. He should be made naked, beaten nicely in public, his very existence to the world is like a Plague to the humankind.

Every often, I meet people of his team or whoever has come across Ranjan tell me their versions of a impossible such story. Nobody in the entire office wants to talk to him and 99% everyone Avoid him. Prick M*****F*****. MC BC. &&**!@@@@@#!@#.

Jan 9^h 21:00 Hrs. “wat are you doing after dinner?” I replied “Me and Veena have booked tickets, we will be going for a movie” – “Wat movie is it?” I said, “It’s a Hindi Movie” Ranjan hardly knew Hindi. The worst I feared was he would come. “I will also come” OH NO!!! “Ranjan, but we have already booked tickets, the theatre is housefull” – “Wat will I do going home alone, I too wanted to watch that movie, I will also come” I hadn’t even told him the name of the Movie.  I booked a cab to drop veena home after the movie would end and I thought I will see her off and was hoping I will come back to see her again soon.
We Reached the Theatre, someone was selling a General Class ticket in Black. Ranjan Purchased it, me and Veena were in the Gold class Section. I was atleast happy, that he would not be there to trouble us. During the Interval I saw him secretly hogging 2 Samosas, 1 Pepsi and also had bought a Potato Chips packet. What a dim-witted, obtuse stupid guy I thought. We sat to watch the rest of the movie. I was hardly watching the movie, I was so happy to have been with the world’s most precious person to me and to have her next to me I only kept watching her. Cuz I knew I would miss her the most when I go back to Pune the next day Morning

Jan 10^th 00:00 Hrs. Movie was just over, I wished Veena on her birthday and it was time for us to go home. I checked my cell, the Meru cabs had sent an SMS stating the cab will report at 00:30 Hrs. So that would give me 30 more minutes with her.  She looked like a fairy. Ranjan appeared as we got out, ‘where are you going?’ I replied “Ranjan give us 10 minutes please, you go home if you want to.  I want to talk to her for sometime and Meru cabs will drop her home” Ranjan is unstoppable, “Why Meru? When is Meru coming? Always they are late, when did you book the cab?” Bastard, I thought. Is he so foolish or born Imprudent Retard? “Ranjan, please… “  and I gave him a keep away stare “The movie was good na, wat is the name of the Heroin?” Veena replied “Priyanka Chopra” he continud “oh she looks like Aishwarya Rai” FUCK this GUY!! Someone shot him in the ass. “You see, Meru will come in 30 minutes, and he will take 1 hour to drive 30 KM and you will reach home in 2 hours, but I can drop you in 15 minutes, I know a shortcut” Well we knew there are no shortcut routes. Even if it did, he cant change the geography may be save some 1 or 2 KM. He pestured us so much after this that I gave up and agreed to go with him.

I was about to sit in the front seat but I wanted to spend time with Veena. I kept all the shopping covers in the Front seat and sat back holding her hands. Ranjan started showing off. I said to myself, for once lets ignore him and spend more time and focus on Veena, cuz that was important to me. Ranjan started honking like crazy. There was a horn, a long horn a short hon, simultaneous irritating horns to scare off the traffic midnight!! “see see if I horn like this he will give space, if I horn faster he will also try to drive fast, with experience I have learnt the driver psychology in Hyderabad, secunderabad, shamshabad everything in this city is bad”. A Verna passed ahead of him, overtaking him from right under his nose. He couldn’t hold it. “He overtakes me only??? I will show him, see with honking only I can overtake him” and he raced beyond 100 KMPH. Verna skillfully Maneuvered and zipped and disappeared. Ranjan had a flop show. Veena and me were holding on to everything possible in the car. I told her, lets not spoil our moment, lets ignore him.

    He missed a left turn, near Erragadda Y road. I told him “Ranjan, you should’ve taken this left” he said “no no no there is another shortcut from Begumpet, we will reach easily from there” and he headed towards Ameerpet. After few seconds, he came across a triple riding Bike, 3 men probably drunk looking like goons were not giving Ranjan space or any response  to this idiot’s honking. That upset him, he got super upset. I thought he will rape all 3 men at the same time, speed was around 80 KMPH, when they finally gave space, he lowered his left power window and all he said was “Buddileda” while he was saying that he completely ignored what was in the front, he did not realize he had his steering turned to the right, he went straight and bumped into the opposite coming Petrol Tanker “THUD!!!!!!!”

Jan 10 00:45 Hrs 2010. Nothing had happened to Ranjan! God didn’t want him in Hell or Heaven. He is such a prick that nobody would want him. I bet his family, wife, kids none would have wanted him to be alive. The car had gone under the tanker and the left part of the car had completely smashed and it was sure that the car had to be totaled. I had fallen on the middle, lying on the dashboard with Blood All over and unconscious. Veena had some bruises, thank god only bruises and a sprain in the shoulder for which she suffered for a very long time, and struggled so much throughout . Ranjan was busy with the damaged car and the locals, Poor Veena got me to the hospital seeking help of two Auto Drivers and got me admitted to Prime Hospitals Mythrivanam Ameerpet.  She was in tears and anxious the whole time. I wish I was not unconscious, I would’ve atleast stopped her from crying. She called my roommate, Mangesh, he was not in town, but he realized what was wrong and he called the CFT Gang at office. Somehow she managed to tell something at home and arranged to stay back at the hospital. Aly came down and shouted at the hospital authorities and got the doctor by 3:30 AM. I survived. Veena Saved my life and gave me a rebirth for which I will never forget this and I love her more than I ever did anybody. This story will always remind me of the thin line between life and death and make me love and respect Veena (me and veena are now married) and always keep away from the Sick Ranjan. This is a story to all of you who know Ranjan and please stay away from him. He has done many blunders like this, luckily for us this accident turned out to be all okay.

To Veena – I owe you so much darl. No matter what I say what I do, I will always love you and look upto for a day, everyday to get to see you when I wake up and to be around you always. I love you.

To this date, Ranjan bullshits about this story to everyone and all the defamation he tried on me has affected him directly or indirectly.
I am forever thankful to Aly, Henry, Pavel, Abhishek and Prabhakar, Prashanth, Pranay and Managers Vasu and Sudindra for all the support and help. I owe these gem of people my life. thank you guys.. :) I cant thank you all enough.
regards
Maddy

Episode 3 - Part I - Unexpected Catastrophe

This is a story of an incident I went through, I probably have never told this story even to myself.  It surprises me sometimes when my own mind opens up to me and lets me know a whole new side of experience. My Mom always says, something bad happens to you, then definitely something good will eventually turn in. She has ways to explain things to me which would become a part of my character, my personality, become a part of me.  But when things go wrong, we tend to go after it! Damn Human Nature. What I am going to share with you is a Chronicle of Coma, a True Anecdote, but with a Twist and catastrophe added by Ranjan.

   Jan 10^th : 00:40 Hrs - My body had shut down completely. All brain cells paused, with no electro chemical activity, nothing functioning but luckily I WAS breathing. It was a Complete Blackout, as if all of my body had staged a protest for putting it through all sorts of pressure and it had boycott from doing their job.  Inside my head it was blank, darkness. I could feel nothing or think nothing. Its like you can feel Darkness the way you felt light. I can’t really explain to you how it was being unconscious, but it was like nothing!! Yes, I experienced Nothing.  And all of a sudden, everything came up, Blood started flowing, one hard breath and I gained consciousness, then I slowly opened my eyes, there was so much of light, so much of noise. Suddenly the world had come back from a Pause. I was lying down on the bed, the first thing I saw was a blurry white roof, I could barely see. My vision slowly was turning from Blur to clear and the next thing I saw was, Veena, standing there opposite to the bed and crying. Crying very hard. I saw lot of tears in her eyes, I guessed something has gone wrong and her nose had turned super pink. Well she didn’t look pretty at all for the first time. I had no idea why she was crying. The last thing I remember was - we were in the backseat of the infamous “Ranjan’s Car” he was driving us home while I was looking into her eyes. I had no memory of what happened after that, and the question that struck to me like a comet was; what the hell happend? I couldn’t recollect anything. I really had no idea! I remember talking to Veena and Ranjan driving like a Maniac. I could guess there was an accident, if I approved it then there would be more questions in my head, I wanted to be sure. So  I asked her “Why are you crying?” She still kept crying. I was like, is this a dream, am I dreaming? Something unreal, I should wake up from? Then I asked again “What happened?” she was about to say something and I saw a Nurse take her. Nurse? Wait a minute, Where the hell did a nurse come from? Then  I saw a fat dark guy standing near my head, holding a thick white cotton on my right side above my temple near the ears. He told me “you met with an accident” . . I guessed, ‘ I am in a hospital’ the guy I was talking to was the Fosterer (male nurse in Indian Terms).   I was shocked,  I could hardly breathe. I asked him “Is she alright” He said “everybody is fine, you just got a small bump on the head” That’s when I felt something moving under my neck at the back.

    Veena came back, and she was still crying. I asked her “Are you okay” she replied “Yes I am fine, you please rest” The feeling of something crawling continuously was bothering me. It was like something warm was moving underneath my neck towards my collar. I tried hard to move my hands, I couldn’t, my own body refused to help, as if they were tied from my spine, somehow I struggled and reached out towards my neck, I touched at the back of my neck and saw it was blood. The guy holding the cotton pad was not observing there was a crack in my skull that had left some blood flowing.  I told the fat guy to hold the cotton on my head properly and reduce the pressure he was putting. He realized that the huge cotton pad he had kept has been completely drenched with Blood, so to change it he lifted the cotton pad and fountains of blood just sprung till my feet and till where veena was standing. She saw that and started crying more. The Fosterer changed the cotton pad, put a fresh new one and it started getting soaked in blood. The pain was unbearably excruciating. My body shut down again, completely blacked out. I felt unconscious again! At least I was happy of one thing, - Veena seemed okay at that time, she was standing and she was fine.

      The next time I opened my eyes, I could hardly blink, hardly think. I was so surprised – a witty me and turned to such a wimp? C’mon this can’t be me, what’s happening around here? Why am I not able to move my body, not even fingers? Why am I feeling so thirsty and not able to ask for water? I couldn’t even gulp. I wanted to say but I didn’t have any air left inside my chest to bring out a voice. Did I really meet with an accident? The part of meeting veena and holding hands, looking into her beautiful eyes was it all real or was  I dreaming? I saw some 6 guys dressed in white aprons looked like doctors all around me. And one guy started asking me questions “What is your name?” I assumed he is the doctor.  I knew my name, I just couldn’t say it. I guessed I was in the operation theatre with the big round light right on my head and they were stitching the skin on my skull back. Finally I told him whats my name,  when he asked me for  a second time, that took a lot of strain and effort. I thought that would be the end of his questions, a second question popped up – he asked me “What do you do?” I didn’t know what I do? The thought that came to my head was What do I do? What do I want to do? I want to see Veena, I want to go back in time and stop this from happening, I want to go back in time and erase what just happend. Well, guess what, I blacked out again with that thought.

Jan 11 4 PM, I woke up, I was in ICU, had stitches and a huge bandage on my head. I had lost a lot of blood. I had some tubes popping out of my left hand and a bottle of blood and drips connected to it. I was wearing some green long coat which other old patients in the room were wearing. Veena and Aly, Pavel, a couple of other Office colleagues were there. 

One Minute Read - Best way to top the Productivity

Once upon a time, somewhere in a Village there used to be a Farmer and his two Sons. The Farmer was old and was unable to work, but, he had trained his sons to be able to replace him reasonably well and carry on the harvesting year after year, thereby continue his legacy.

However, the major issue was that both the Brothers were bitter enemies and hated each other. The younger brother was greedy and elder brother was organized and well disciplined. Everyone thought that Elder brother is Lazy, he only did what he thought was best and was principled, well planned and futuristic. The younger wanted a chance to always prove to his elder brother that he is better than him. The Farmer knew this, so before he died, he made his decisions and put his Will on the paper that he will split all his property into 60% to the Younger son and 40% to the Elder Son.

The younger Son was not happy with all this. He would get only 4 Oxen, 6 Acres of Land and only 6 Cows. While the elder bro got 2 Oxen, 4 Acres of Land, and 4 Cows. The Elder brother wanted to prove he is the best and take on the rest of the property, get his elder brother to work under him. But, he was further more disappointed to see his elder brother contented and happy with what he got. The Elder brother humbly accepted his father’s decision and got to work. Younger brother was full of rage, he wanted to prove that he was better than his brother and his work could yield better results and harvest than his brother.

So the younger brother started working, working very hard, day and night he put his efforts. Often he used to see that his elder brother leave home right at the sunset, while he carried his work till midnight and would start much early before the brother arrived. His elder brother was not actually worried about anything, he knew if he worked sincerely, honestly and efficiently he would make the best use of all his tools and resources.

But the younger brother, put more and more work into his field.

Finally the season of harvesting came and when measured his elder brother had better crop quality and quantity than his! He was surprised, he couldn’t believe his eyes. According to him he had done nothing wrong! He was energetic, enthusiastic and had worked very hard.

He couldn’t resist, he went and asked his brother. The answer was simple. The Elder brother rested his Ox, himself well during the night while he also ensured he put the right measure of manure, fertilizer and kept all his tools clean and tidy. And most importantly he kept the next day planned according to the weather. So that’s productivity. The younger brother had worked very hard, didnt research how much fertilizer is required, how healthy his oxen are, at what pace should he plough, he did not check the weather and plan things well etc.,.,so it all affected on his productivity.

When you put smartness into your hard work, that’s when you get productivity. Its not work you put into your smartness. You can no longer be productive if you are competing only for numbers, productivity is much more than that, its your bread and butter. No matter where you are, what you are, rest yourself well, get good sleep, plan the next day well, stay calm and cheerful, eat timely food, stay positive and keep working, research on small things, observe other people, learn from them, improvize yourself constantly and The reward of our work is not what we get, but what we become… Thank you for reading the blog. I made the story as simple and short to save your time and yet glue you till the end. Hope you enjoyed it.

Day with an Idiot - Episode 2 "The Perfect Dosa"

It had been hours since my last meal, almost a day. I had missed my lunch, and, dinner, both, the previous day, and was super hungry. It was 11:30 AM and it’d been 3 hours since I'd woken up. Days were so busy then, thanks to my workplace and even weekends needed me to go to office for some reason or the other. Skipping lunch, sleep, Dinner now and then was frequent and routine. But, when hunger used to strike - I treated myself to the glory of savoring. I used to either cook something tasty or go out and have a feast with my humble roommate Vijay and Kalyan in Pune.

  Well, this time it was different. Why? I had the great Ranjan staying with me and Vijay, as our 1st Guest Roomie, staying for free! He didn’t even want to pay the share of his rent, (what a f***kin looser) we still let him be our roommate! Oh I have made such terrible mistakes in my life. Infact, everyday we had to put up with all his Lectures and free advise in Butler hindi and English. Vijay used to literally pray to god for not getting himself in the way of Ranjan. Even the Apartment watchmen used to shoo Ranjan away or hide themselves from getting into the way of overdozed hypnotization. None were spared from his wizardly mental malfunction of silly topics. His advice were never ending, like theory of relativity, he had his own relative theory to every topic, every thing in this world…. he can redefine physics, chemistry and maths all at once. One of his all time best advise used to be “you should woke up early and have your dinner on time” now how can u have dinner early in the morning? none of us ever understood it what he meant, may be he meant breakfast, (I guess) it was a bhool bhulaiiya of Past and Future tenses going wrong left and never right, but, we pay for it by simply nodding and agreeing to whatever he said. “you should woke up early and have your dinner on time otherwise hair will loose, eyes got spects, sleep problem and lot of other issues come, see, see, that’s why I am not wearing chashma, my eyes are so good, I sleep well and eat well” Well, he was semi bald himself and he is the one to have all problems with sleep, dreams and not to mention the loud surround sound monstrous snoring. He sleeps like a Hippo in a swamp, with his mouth wide open, legs snatched and spread like a kangaroo, and sounding as if he is a PIG and always the last one to wake up and I strongly believed he has Night blindness with the way he kept bumping himself into everything everywhere he went after dark. Plus even a mosquito bite would get him fever, he would sneeze like a grinder when he used to sniff on dust everyday while the maid swept the floor! He is impossible.

I came to the kitchen, looking at Maggi, I was imagining the pleasure of those smooth noodles fondling with my tongue before they go down my Esophagus and then to stomach, but, I was sure that our nobel deserving roomie would not let us just make what we like and eat. No. No way things were so easy when he was around. Me and Vijay usually have Maggi on weekends and its not a bad thing for us. It filled us well and prepare us for a late lunch. It was our most powerful survival technique. But, BUT!!!!!! – Ranjan, wanted to show us how to make Dosa! Well Dosa also would fit into my scrumptious delicacy, the idea of Dosa made me even hungrier. I mean who doesn’t want Dosa instead of Maggi? He said “I make the most thinnest and the most crispiest of the dosa ever, even my wife cant you know?” and he started giggling as if he wanted me to applaud, kiss his hand and look at him as if I had seen GOD himself and worship him for the next 20 minutes. He continued  “one day I challenged my wife, she made dosa, I make dosa, we both ate, she was shocked, my dosa was the best, the very crispy crispy and fulllllll thin” Yeah Right – I thought. Poor wife. I was sure even his wife pretended to agree, otherwise he would not leave her without proving himself better. I didn’t have a choice as usual, I am not assertive at times– my fault. I looked at Vijay and we both nodded. “come lets make dosa, I will teach you also, hey Vijay u want to learn?” As if he was giving IIT JEE Coaching. “you want to learn” BALLS!! F*** YOU! I don’t want to LEARN, HELL NO! but, sadly, we’re good boys – politeness was filled in our blood, damn! We just nodded to him and said yes, as if its like “yeah very exciting, I too want to learn, plz plz plz teach me” he was like Jackie chan in Karate Kid teachin us how to make Dosa. Finally the moment had come  for me and Vijay to learn how to drive the spaceship to Mars, we were getting free training on Rocket Science. Vijay looked at me, I was holding my laugh literally with the power of universe yet it was hard, and he said “no Ranjan, I have to go to bathroom” he escaped! Chaalu bugger, he always did that, smart stuff. I got stuck in the hands of the world’s most  unfathomable idiot!

      “Oh put some more maida, and add some wheat. Go to the reliance shop and ask for “gingelly oil” its very tasty. Also put some Rice flour, the components should be in 60, 20, 20 format, only then you will get taste. I was 3 yrs old when I made my first Dosa”First of all I am not his assistant, “HE” wanted to make dosa. Everytime he uttered a word, I had my jaw constantly dropped to the ground. He expected that I gave him that pleasure of awe, “wow he is so great” expression. He continued “see see the colour should be yellow, put some haldi if it does not turn yellow” Alright Mr. Bean, I will I will I said to myself. You keep the pan on the fire, heat it up, I am almost done making the dough. Finally the pan was hot, he poured the first dosa. CHHHSHHHHHHHH, he kept rotating, rotating, using a bowl and was checking the thickness of the dosa. This was Dosa no1. After 2 minutes, He tried to pry up the dosa, it had already become a part of the PAN. The Atoms in the Dosa dough had made a covalent bond with the atoms on the surface of the PAN and had integrated itself to it, like it was glued to it or something. There was no way it could come up. Ranjan said “oh the heat is very much, you over heated it” ME? I OVERHEATED IT? SICKO FRANTIC ***LICKING WHACKO I OVERHEATED IT? YOU LIT THE FIRE YOU ASS NOT ME! I WAS JUST WATCHING I thought… but I replied “oh is it? My bad, sorry, lets try another one, this time you heat it yourself”

   I was still hungry, it was lunch time still no magi, no dosa, still nothing. Here came the second dosa. This time the temperature was at its perfect, it was measured multiple times, the thickness of the Dosa dough was proportional according to Dr. Ranjan. He poured the second dosa as if he is a Scientist and he just invented a life saving drug. But to his surprise, the second dosa also got integrated to the Pan. Then came the third, the fourth which got burnt to hell. I was sure that Dosa turned out to be a super Flop. Fifth came, sixth came. The pan had become unusable, it couldn’t take any more of Abuse from Our Ranjan. Finally after making a pile of torn semibaked Glue type dosas he gave up. Vijay was already on his way to get something to eat from outside. He was smart.

 While Vijay was away, we decided to clean the mess. Ranjan took his Dosa’s down, for the first time he didn’t talk and I started to clean the stove. I felt how peaceful life could get when he is not around. He went down the apartment, I was thinking he is going to dig it up bury down the dosas, pray for them do its funeral and come back because they looked like a crow’s dead body, trust me I could even see a Beak and a bird shaped roll as if a black bird had died in a war with its wings open, as if a soldier bird had died for victory. Well he was back in the apartment within minutes after dumping the Dosa. Vijay brought us some Chapati and Dal from our regular restaurant and finally, FINALLY, I had myself filled with some food. Oh boy what a relief when you get to eat when you’re hungry.

        That evening something happened, which I cant forget. Ever! I think the National geographic should’ve been there to capture what happened next. While I was thinking that the Dosa episode was just over, well it wasn’t.

Ranjan again wanted to shop, we went down to the store next to our Apartment. He asked for around 15 items and purchased only 2. I cared a damn, I thought he wanted me to be his judge for product quality testing. On our way back, we saw a Dog, looking at Ranjan with Angst. He was not barking, but kind of giving a stare and a question mark as to saying “WHY, WHY ME?” types. Well, dogs are weird. They do stuff we wont understand I thought. He quickly ran, and he came back. VOILA!! I COULD NOT BELIEVE MY EYES! That DOG had the DOSAS in its mouth and a couple of other Dogs with grave anger in them coming towards Ranjan!!

The Stray Dogs at our Aptmnt who ate Ranjans Dosa

       I could guess it the moment I saw the same Dosa which Ranjan had made In that Dogs mouth. This dog had tried to share it with other dogs, but it would not tear or break – it was very hard for them. Poor dogs. They thought they had a meal when they were hungry, but instead they got a pile of rubber! It looked like they didnt take the disappointment too well.They had so much of a trouble eating the dosa. l after cooling down, it had become like glue, “mazbooth jod” one of those types which could be used by companies like Fevicol. One dog still had one part of the Dosa stuck in his mouth and appeared to be the most troubled dog of all. He was crying, and Grrrrrrrring, barking, venting - HOWLING I don’t know what but he sure appeared to die within few minutes, but, boy you can say the pack was angry. They threw the dosa aside and started incessantly barking as if they had so much to say. I felt like they were earthquake victims, lost their family and now they are crying and venting out all their pain. Boy I don’t know how much Ranjan’s Dosas had screwed their appetite and digestive systems, but they were one angry pack. Grrrrr Grrrrrrr showin their teeth and canine they stood at one place with dosas kept down looking at Ranjan. You wont believe, but its true, this really happened.

     We stood shocked for a while, Ranjan thought the Dogs have gone crazy – as if he was not responsible for it, as if he had done nothing! Son of a B**** .  One dog had the sorrow of the universe, he was expressing it to the other dogs. I too felt like crying listening to his plight. I felt very sorry for them. I felt sorry further more realizing they were not going to bite Ranjan. They had decided to let go, may be because they already bit off something they couldn’t chew and they didn’t want to bite this idiot and suffer further more. Wise decision the dogs took I thought. If only they had been wise enough not to eat dosa, well, I wasn’t any different. Like the Dogs, I was too hungry at one time and was all ready to eat the Dosa. Can you believe it, the Dogs gave up on the Dosa, left it for good and went back after venting all curses and words at Ranjan. I am sure one of those barking would’ve meant “ What a creation you are, you Rascal. You don’t deserve to be existing in this world. I wonder how your family tolerates you. You have not just troubled me, but tortured my entire pack of Dogs. I will let you for because of the goodness of Doghood, but I pray may god punish you with a lot of pain and torture and bite you in the wrong place – RGDS BOW BOW”

“Phew!” I thought. Thank god I didn’t eat that the Dosa, otherwise I wasn’t sure I would be even have enough life left to spend in the ICU! Bachgaya!! God is great, Ranjan is a waste!!

Hope you all enjoyed it and had a good laugh, sorry for rolling out Episode 2 so late. Episode 3 would not be late. These are all real stories and I have more to write and after the first episode was published, I met many who have encountered Ranjan in their own fate and they all have some tremendously exemplary stories and tit-bits about him. So I will have all of them published. Thank you for all the support. Have fun.

Day with an Idiot - Episode 1

Woke up, checked the time, it was 4:00 AM and still few hours left before I reached Kacheguda Station. My upper berth was surprisingly cozy and comfortable. Fact was that I was dreaming about meeting  my wife, who was then just my Girlfriend, so everything was pleasant and beautiful. I continued to dream of meeting her, celebrating her birthday, a candle light dinner by the side of the pool, looking at her smile, holding her hands..... I just didn’t want to come out of those thoughts at all. I was very eager to meet her and so she was. At 4:30, my cell phone rang. I was very quick to grab it from my pocket and answer the call, I had a guess that she would call me too, perhaps she might be missing me too. Being so sure of my guess, I did not even see the phone display to see who is calling, I answered the call with a lot of excitement and Love - "Hello, Hey, how are you?" but for my Surprise from the other side a male hoarse, gravelly voice with a strong ugly MTI said “WHERE ARE YOU?” Well I did not even take a moment to realize it was Ranjan (Name Changed).

   Ranjaneswaran, alias Ranjan as we all know, is a supercilious, haughty man, aged around 32-33, a Tamilian from Chennai who is so overconfident about everything about himself that he seconds Rajanikanth. He can fix anything, screw anything. He is a blemish to any situation. About 5’8 Ft tall, dark, and has a felony look on his face always, as if he was just being molested by someone. He loves giving free gyan to people in Butler English, which is completely broken, as if he has molested English, raped to its core,  without realizing that everyone is just bearing him. His grammar can only be interpreted by very few, he calls it encryption. If an Englishman would listen to the way he talks he would want to shoot him right in the head. I answered to his call “Oh Hi Ranjan, I don’t know where I am, I am in the upper berth, not sure what stations have passed by.” Ranjan replied with the same Mother Tongue Influence “No Problem, I will call you later by 6 AM. I will come to the station to pick you up, needing little help from you” Well, I had someone offering me a drop home, and moreover He was my SME at office, I couldn’t say NO. I replied “Alright Ranjan, thank you”. I went back to sleep, no more mellow thoughts.

  After freshing up, stood near the door of the Train, watching the fields, the sunrise, clear sky and was sipping tea when the Phone rang again, at sharp 6:00 AM. This time no wrong guesses, I was sure it was Ranjan. “Hi Ranjan, I think its still a long way to Kacheguda, I don’t know where I am – haven’t passed a station yet” Ranjan replied “I will come to Nampally Station man, you get down there man” I acknowledged “Surething Ranjan, that’s very kind of you” then came his question again, and all his questions are dumb ones “Where are you now?” I said “I don’t know where I am – I haven’t crossed any station yet, when I will find out I will text you” Ranjan would not give up right at that, he always has a point to prove that he is smart. NO NO He wants to prove he is the smartest. He added “Alright what do you see outside, big rock or small rock man?” , I was wondering what type of a question is that? I mean what would anyone see outside of a train in a country side? I replied “I see trees and farms and some mountains” Ranjan said “Okay, the mountains are very far?” I replied “Yes, I think so” I didn’t want him to ask me next how far are the mountains or how clear is the sky etc.,., Ranjan responded “The trees, the trees are tall ones with a lot of leaves or short dry thorny ones” What a genius, I replied “No Ranjan, they are jus trees, I guess with lot of leaves” Then he said a name of a place and said “Oh okay, you are near XYZ place, it will take an hour to reach, I will call you then”.

  Phew. Went back to my berth, sat back and started reading Dan Brown’s Da Vinci, Ranjan had his effect on people. I was already feeling like never to talk to him again in my entire life. He was relocating to Pune after my team had made numerous complaints against him to the Management who had decided to send him away from all and give him something else to which he might fit. Boy, I thought that would only be a mental asylum where he would fit in, he seriously needed medical attention and a psychologist's advise. To add to this, I had given him a place to stay in my room in Pune for an entire month and a half for free, plus had made arrangements so that he could keep his Car in my neighbour’s parking space. I was worried how I will bear him for that long and what will my other roommate say. Well, I sometimes overshow care and respect perhaps knowing this guy was an annoying intolerable junk. 

Phone rang again, “WHERE ARE YOU?” was the same common question,  I replied “Ranjan I crossed Vikrabad junction” I thought since he is so familiar with the trees and birds and landscape he would as well know the station, but to my surprise he added “Vikrabad? – what? Oh no! Are you in the right train? You get Vikrabad when you go to Delhi” I was dumbstruck with his question. I was sure I am in the right train, but was not sure if I was talking to the right person. Well I replied “Ranjan, I will call you when I reach, I will come home by myself, don’t worry I am in the right Train” by the time I could complete “oh yes yes, I just saw in google, you are in the right train, and only 30 km away from the station. Fine, there is an expected train crossing, usually they stop there. So I will start late, you call me”

 I reached Nampally, I got down, called Ranjan “Hi Ranjan, I reached the Nampally station” His probing skills still continued “Which side are you, there is a SBI ATM on one side and a PAN Shop on the otherside. If you see a big mango tree then come to the other side where you don’t see the tree but an SBI ATM” I said alright. I found the SBI ATM, Exited the station, and after waiting for 40 minutes, Ranjan arrived in his golden hatchback Hyundai Santro.  He gave me that smile with unbrushed slimy yellow teeth sparkling between his dry black lips from the windshield of his car, as if he was advertising his ill hygiene and I smiled back and got in the car. He didnt wait to boast and he said “ I was fast no, see? I came in 10 minutes, I am very good at driving, in 3 years, I have never put the break even once. I control the car in gear only” I didn’t know what to say, how to react, I decided to agree, may be he never used the breaks because he drove very slow or very less, may be, so I replied “very well Ranjan, no wonder you are a pro, you’re so amazing, yes, you came in 9.9 minutes. (as if I had a timer on, In fact I had waited for a goddamn 40 minutes, I would’ve gone home half an hour ago if I had walked you moron). Note that it was my first driving experience with him. He got all pumped up with my comment, rather with my flatter. Michael Schumacher got into him and he started driving like a “MANIAC” . in the small lane where cows and dogs are not the only commuters, you could see tones of hyderabadis and rough rogue ones swarming the streets as if they are on a mission to destroy earth with a stampede.

Nothing could dampen our never use break hero Ranjan. He still drove, maneuvering the car between people, drifting around the ever slow cows, yelling at the Auto rickshawalas, he somehow managed to retain his cadre and reputation of driving superstar. But for me, I was holding onto everything I could in the car, I felt I will die. He never stopped honking with a split second gap, He was pressing the horn as if it was a piano and he was the fastest player. He was going all over the place, jumping all the road hump, skidding at the potholes, oh it was a nightmare for me. He yelled at almost everyone I would rather go to a theme park for a thrill, why did I even sit in his car? At one point, he almost ran over an old lady, almost. The car just brushed her arms and surprisingly she was fast for her age, she reacted to the incoming car and jumped away to safety and started yelling all curses and bad words at Ranjan, by the tone I understood her words were really dirty, very sick and thought something terrible is about to happen. Ranjan “What a horrible city, everything here is bad. SecunderaBAD, HyderaBAD, no power, no water, and all illiterate people” I thought, how illiterate he could be, he would top the list of negligent inhumane moron drivers list ever.

We entered the BHEL-Chandanagar street, the road was wide as it’s NH11, traffic got a bit easy and less dense, but his honking got faster and faster. I could feel that his honking is directly proportional to the Blood Pressure of his heart. The higher his pulserate was getting the higher he was getting on his Temper. I pitied the horn, and I wished that it will forever malfunction and stop honking and may be he will learn to drive like a civilized man. Honking get even hotter when a Bike guy did not leave him any space on the right. Though there was so much of a space, Ranjan wanted to teach the bike guy a lesson. When he honks the rest of the world should park their vehicles away and not drive. According to him he should be the only one driving on the road. He would honk even if he detects a microbacteria on his path.

  Poor bike guy now had to confront, but, he had a power which Ranjan did not have. He was a Hyderabadi, they don’t hear honks or respond to it. No matter how tough one gets, Hyderabadis get tougher than the other, they are literally thickskinned. If there would be a war, hire Hyderabadis they will win against anyone. The biker did not give Ranjan any space or show any response to his maniac nonstop horn. Ranjan tried all type of combinational Rhythmic horn. But he was high on temper. I thought he will murder the Biker and eat him. The way his hands were impatiently punching the steering, I could feel the hit on the biker’s face. He was sweating and breathing hard, grasping the steering hard and punching it with his right hand, he kept beating it as if it was the biker’s face. Ranjan tored down the steering action as if he was ripping the intestines out of that Biker.

  Finally Biker gave up, to my surprise, he left way for Ranjan to go. Ranjan was still full with Rage, angry, and in destruction mode. He lowered the window and I thought he will use a BC or a MC curse or use a Tamil Gaali and something dirty will come out from a MAN afterall who has never hit the break was made to hit the break for the first time in 3 years. His reputation was at stake, I was watching. I was sure Ranjan would stop the biker, punch him, eat him, destroy or murder him with a lot of Gaalis. He started saying BBBB bbbbb mmmbbbbb bbbbmmmmm, I though hez trying to say a Behan C*** or a Madar C**** bBBbMMMBBB He put his head out of the window and all he said was “YOU BUFFALO!!!” and that too after the biker had gone far far away. He picked me up cuz he wanted money to shift his house from Hyderabad to Pune.

I understood this guy is a Coward, lunatic, big headed egomaniac who yaps off himself, boasting stupid guy. I could never forget this ride and I would forever want to keep away from this idiot who recognizes trees, who never hits the brakes, how is a superhero Rajanikanth. There will be more stories of this lunatic which I have encountered. Will share them all, hope you all had a good laugh. Feel free to leave your comments.

Another Bed time Story......

Of all the stories I have known, I couldnt help recalling one story again and again, which my granny used to share with us at bed time,

Once upon a time ago, A king offered a large prize to the artist who could best represent the idea of peace. A lot of painters sent their works to the palace, depicting woods at dusk,waterfalls,  quiet rivers, children playing on the sand, rainbows in the sky, drops of dew on a rose petal, pleasure, merry, celebration etc.,.,

The king examined everything that was sent to him, but ended up choosing only two works.

The first showed a beautiful landscape, scenery lake that perfectly mirrored the displaying mountains surrounding it and the blue sky above. The sky was dotted with small white clouds and, and when one looked closely, in the left-hand corner of the lake there stood a small house with one window open and smoke rising from the chimney – the sign that a frugal but tasty dinner/dish was being prepared.

The second painting was also of mountains, but these were bleak and stony with sharp, sheer peaks, not very scenic. Above the mountains, the sky was implacably dark, and from the heavy clouds fell lightning, hail and torrential rain.

The painting was totally out of harmony with the other submissions. However, a closer look revealed a bird’s nest lodged in a crack in one of those inhospitable rocks. In the midst of the violent roaring of the storm, a swallow was calmly sitting on its nest.

When he gathered his court together, the king chose the second picture as the one that best expressed the idea of peace. He explained:

‘Peace is not what we find in a place that is free of noise, problems and hard work; peace is what allows us to preserve the calm in our hearts, even in the most adverse situations. That is its true and only meaning.

Howz Married Life?

I got married 3months and 3 days ago from the time I am writing this blog. And, many, in fact, most of my friends, before they ask me "How are you?" ask me "Howz Married life?". Not to blame them, I guess, in their minds, both these questions are linked into eachother, perhaps they may be. And, when they pop that question up, funny thing is that they are looking for a Whacky answer! Something that would tickle their bones and get them to giggle and some expect a disastrous sad story and expect me to say "Bachelor life was better then Married life"! 


          Does life really change after marriage?. I remember having this very doubt the day I got engaged. Does life really change? Will I get time to do the things I like after tieing the knot? I'm not an experienced person, haven't spent years of married life, but if you are looking for true facts from a newlywed, then, this is the post for you! On May 16th we got engaged and Nov 14th we were married and its been the Best Part of my life. Its not always about finding the right mate, its about being the right mate and in my case, we both are right for eachother! I mean, she is great, she is the best in everything she is and I will always remain crazy about her since day 1 I saw her. 
Well I do have a romantic side of my story but I am focusing on my wedding experience alone here.
Yep, Life does Change! - Whether you like it or not, life changes big time after marriage. You don't really get time to do things you like -- or maybe you can if you squeeze out enough time in between all the chores. But then again, you feel too exhausted by the end of the day to enjoy these things that you feel so passionate about! I'm working from home and at the same time I have to do my everyday chores which doesn't leave me with much time for my hobbies like reading. I still want to finish the book "Fountainhead" and trying to finish it since a month and still i havent made much progress. 


LAZYNESS CREEPS IN: Yes I wake up late, in my bachelor days I used to wake up early and head for my classes on time, office on time, cook on time etc.,., but now, my wife wakes up at 6 while I am still lazing on the bed till 9 AM. After returning from work, I want to just lie around, not do anything, this has been the case since my bachelorhood,and this has been the same even now.  


KICKSTART LEARNING - LEARN Cleaning and Cooking - 2 MAJOR activities take up a MAJOR part of ur time and interest. I am very bad at cleaning. The first time I walked into my house after wedding, i was in a doubt for a while and was not sure if I walked into the right house or if my house got taken over by somebody else. Everything was so neat and tidy, arranged, well kept, decorated etc.,.,! I could see my marble floor sparkling which it never did when I was staying alone! Well, thanks to my wife, she had done up the house so really neat, I am learning to keep it that way, and I think I am halfway there.
Cooking - its natural forme when I get hungry I cook the way  I want, but, my lil wife doesnt like all the greasy spicy junk mix I make. Nor do I help her when she cooks. I have to learn to be more co operative, hopefully I will be :)


Sometimes It's Better to Agree with Your Wife Even if You're Right - We all whine when we are sick, all men do. Even if its cold we cry, unlike women who make tough times look easy. All our whining gets women to care for us more, love more, and we get all the affection that way. When we are getting so much, just agree to whatever your wife says. She is anyday the best person in the whole world rightafter your mom! yes she is!!Or As its say "Agree to Disagree", but whatever you do, try to agree as many times as possible. 


Dont Expect Coffeees in the morning - Oh come on, atleast not when you are a newly wed! you are not in a Hotel Lodge and dont expect your wife who is getting up early for you, cooking for you, keeping your house neat n clean, folding your clothes, who has left all her parents and house just for you and is already doing so much for you, to also get you a bed coffee!


These are the few things I think are what I feel so far, but, its always amazing to be together, dream together and live together! its superb isnt it that you get to end the day on the same pillow and the magic it is that you also get a chance to be YOU in someone else's eyes who is also doing the same thing from the other end? 


Even after 25 yrs from now, I will say "Our wedding was many years ago.  The celebration continues to this day"as I continue to celebrate my marriage! I love my wife, love everything about her and being with her, I know there wouldnt be any day, second, or a moment that would seem impossible to handle.
Be Happy.... :)

Valentine's Day in Indian Culture

Its that time of the year again and we see the celebrations seeping into almost everyone and everything. Decorated Restaurants, advertisements and hoardings on Valentine's day dinner and events, red roses, heart shaped balloons and many gift shops selling a lot of stuff under this concept. Even TV programs gearing up for the occasion, spreading this culture, deriding our own Values for this western junk culture, Love and romance is in the air all around. Wow, this feels good while a smart businessman sees it as an opportunity to make a quick buck, and some silly youngsters see it in the Bollywood/Tollywood world and see it as a Dream in their eyes with the rose they chose is in the hands of the charming girl they dreamt of!


    Our youngsters look upto some of the smartass khans in the movie world and always imbibe them in their mirrors. They desperately want to be like them and get the kind of girls they want! Such is our Patriotism and Culture which is the next on the verge to be corrupted. Some activist groups go against them, beat them up, get them married trying to teach them a lesson! But what are they going to do about the Virus of Valentine and the Western diseased culture that spreads from all over?


      I was reading an article where Yoga, Parenthood etc.,., are practised now a days in all western Countries. Indian child psychology is studied everywhere as the way our parents bring us up is known to be the best as our Culture lays all the foundation. The meanings of Indian Ancient Vedas and Upanishads are adopted by many companies, political parties, countries!


    Look at China, Japan etc.,., they care a damn abt West! They still follow their own culture, their own systems and so, they are one of the most successful countries in the world. Here is what i read in another blog somewhere....Some of the reasons given to oppose Valentine's Day are that it is not part of our culture and is an import from the west. The day is overly commercialized and has become an excuse for big corporations to mint money. Some claim that there's more indecent behavior in public on this day and some others say that women are harassed more on the fourteenth of February. Agreed, some of it might be true, it's definitely an import. But does this justify getting down to violence and vandalism?

Culture, as anything else in this world, is dynamic. It never remains the same. What was culture earlier, like sati and child marriage, is a crime today. Something that a lot of people in a society do and accept becomes culture. We should not, and cannot, prevent changes in our culture. It's inevitable.

We have a rich heritage and culture as a nation. But at the same time people need to realize that in today's age, a culture cannot be isolated from the rest of the world. The protesters aren't the only ones who have a sense of right and wrong, who have strong ethics and moral values. Most of the people whom they beat up also have it. They aren't stupid! They should be left to decide what's good or bad for them. If VHP and Shiv Sena have a problem with Valentine's Day, they need not celebrate it. Nobody is forcing them to. They can protect and maintain the "Indian Culture" amongst themselves. They have no right to dictate what I should or shouldn't do.

We claim to be a free democratic nation. But when such thugs are allowed to vandalize property and assault people and go scot-free, then it means that they are allowed to curb my freedom of expression and freedom to choose. And that just isn't acceptable.